Friday, October 30, 2009

What am I frightened of . . .

I guess its appropriate to answer this the day before Halloween. As I kid I was afraid of bugs, so I'm told. That's how I got the nick name Nenny Bug (Nenny was how my older brother pronounced my name). Although I don't like having to deal with spiders, mice or other such creatures I'm not frightened of them. My fears are more of the unknown kind. When My husband deploys will he come home safe? Will I be strong enough to accept God's plan for me if he doesn't come home? I have 2 kids with constant sometimes tiring medical issues will they be healthy for many many years; or will some of their internal systems start shutting down? Can I hold strong and Endure to the End . . .No matter what trials and obstacles are put in my path? That is where my fears are. Although I know that one decision will not 'make or break' me and that it is my everyday actions. But somehow I still develop fears that if I do something wrong it will set the course toward destruction.
I also know that FEAR and FAITH cannot exist together and therefore I have lots of work to do to conquer my fears and know without a doubt that I CAN stay strong, I CAN endure, and I CAN do it all knowing my Heavenly Father loves me.

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